The Bittersweet Return
Coming Home and Leaving Again: Navigating the Post-Visit Blues
There’s something magical about stepping off the plane and being greeted by that familiar rush of comfort—finally, you’re home. Whether it’s the smell of your mom’s cooking, the sound of your native language flowing effortlessly around you, or simply the feeling of knowing exactly where you are without having to think twice, being home feels like a breath of fresh air.
But just as quickly as it arrives, it’s over. You’re back on the plane, heading to your adopted country, and as much as you love your expat life, there’s that nagging ache that tugs at your heart. It’s completely normal, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
The Bittersweet Reality of Visiting Home
Last month, I took a trip back home for the first time in what felt like forever. I soaked up every second—laughing with old friends, sipping coffee at my favorite café, and letting the kids bond with family in ways that just can’t happen over video calls.
But coming back hit me harder than I expected. Maybe it’s the distance—living in Australia means home is a 24-hour journey away. Or maybe it’s the overwhelming reality of transitioning back into routines and responsibilities after being surrounded by so much love and familiarity. The jet lag didn’t help, and the kids were extra cranky, mirroring my own feelings in their own small, tired ways.
Easing the Transition
When I got back, the house felt a little emptier, and routines just didn’t fit quite right. So I knew I needed a plan to make the transition smoother—not just for me, but for the whole family.
Here are a few strategies that really helped:
1. Plan the Next Adventure:
Even if it’s just a weekend outing or exploring a new neighborhood, having something to look forward to makes the adjustment easier. We’re planning a trip to New Zealand in a few weeks, and just knowing that’s on the horizon has softened the return to everyday life.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Feel:
It’s easy to push away sadness, especially when you’re supposed to be “living the dream” abroad. But allowing yourself and your kids to feel the post-visit blues makes them less overwhelming. Talk about it openly—acknowledging those feelings helps lighten the load.
3. Rebuild Your Routine:
There’s comfort in the familiar, even when it’s not your original home. We’ve been leaning into our morning walks and Sunday pancake tradition to ground ourselves. Simple rituals help create a sense of normalcy when everything else feels a bit off.
4. Reconnect with Your Community:
After coming back, I made it a priority to catch up with fellow expats who get it—the ones who know the strange mix of joy and sadness that comes after visiting home. Sharing stories and laughs with them reminded me why we chose this path in the first place.
Finding Your Balance Again
It’s okay to feel a bit scattered after visiting home—it’s a reminder of how deeply you care about both places. Living abroad means constantly balancing the push and pull of two worlds, and sometimes, that tug on your heartstrings is a sign you’re doing it right.
Be gentle with yourself as you settle back in. Let your space start to feel cozy again, and give yourself a little extra grace in those moments when you miss home.
And remember, you’re not alone in this feeling. That’s why I’m building The Settled Circle—a community where we can share these ups and downs, support each other, and feel at home no matter where we are. Want to join us on this journey? Sign up for the waitlist here.
